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How to Give Good Body Language
It may be a surprise to learn that communication is based 55% on soundless physiology (i.e. gestures, posture, eyes, and breathing) as opposed to words. So how can you take advantage of this advantage? By being the master of your body language. Study this “language” like you would any other, and it will surprise you how quickly you can master the art of how to read between the lines.
Take the eyes. Do the eyes really have it? Only if you look directly when someone addresses you. Remember your mother saying “Look at me!” The rule still applies as it communicates that you’re paying attention, listening and following. Turning away or looking down expresses insecurity, sadness, and a lack of interest. Now what about your walk? Is it brisk or slow? Walking briskly and erectly exhibits confidence while slouching shows insecurity.
Experts will advise you to lean forward when someone addresses you. It shows that you’re responsive and attentive. As a Master of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), I teach the art of “Matching and Mirroring,” that is, subtly how to copy another person’s gestures, posture, and breathing. As an example, if your boss likes to nod a lot, while being astute and indirect, you nod along. When in the company of someone who is a deep or a shallow breather, you can mimic the breathing, and without a word you’ll have instant rapport. Or if you’re called into the office and notice that your boss is tapping a pencil or a foot, you can get into sync by copying that motion.
Linda-Marie, Ph.D., is a doctor of clinical hypnotherapy and an NLP Master Practitioner and Life Coach.
by Linda-Marie, Ph.D.
Complete story in this issue of DASH.
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